Planning any wedding can be stressful. But planning a second wedding presents its own unique challenges. Everyone has an opinion on what is or isn’t appropriate from what you should (or shouldn’t) wear to whom it’s appropriate to invite (Exes? Former in-laws? Friend couples from your first marriage?) More than one couple has compared planning a second wedding to walking through a “minefield.”
The best advice we’ve heard: You are older and wiser and know what you want. So do whatever suits you both, and let the chips fall where they may. Yes! Life is too short to worry about what people might think about your choices.
With that spirit in mind, here are some ideas we thought were pretty cool from the brides and grooms we’ve worked with recently.
Announcing your engagement
The most important people to tell are your children so you can set the tone of your news. Those that have gone though this process wisely suggest that if your children are old enough, you can ask them if they’d rather tell their other parent, or if they prefer that you do.
If you don’t have children, it is polite and courteous to inform your ex-spouse so they can hear it from you rather than from someone else. Even if you aren’t on the best of terms, it’s the classy thing to do. Can you do this via email or text? Sure. Some may find that easier than a phone call.
After you have told the kids and your family, feel free to send announcements out. The old rule that this was somehow taboo is outdated. Do what is easiest for you and to your liking. Using social media for this purpose is perfectly fine as well.
- Wear whatever color feels and looks good on you. That might be a lovely cocktail dress or a dressy tailored suit in a flattering fabric. Or anything else that strikes your fancy. Yes, black or gray dresses can be chic and classy. Why not? It’s your wedding.
- For the groom, again, anything goes from a classy formal dress suit to an open neck shirt and more casual slacks.
- Be sure to talk to one another about the style and colors so your looks work well together for photos and you both feel comfortable.
- In general, outdoor weddings are more relaxed in attire and attitudes.
This can be fun and darn right cute. We’ve seen little ones (boys and girls) as ring and/or flower bearers. We’ve seen kids (and family dogs) of all ages and both sexes “giving away” the bride – and the groom. And older kids sharing a reading during the ceremony. As long as kids are comfortable with their roles. If you are unsure of younger children’s participation, invite a favorite friend or family member to help them out with the day’s responsibilities.
A popular second wedding trend is to speak a family vow to the children after the bride and groom’s vows. For example, “I, (name), solemnly promise that I will care for you, love you and honor you as my own.” Some couples also give a small charm or piece of jewelry, saying something like “Take this as a symbol of our family, and our love for you.”
Some couples include their children’s names on their invitations, as in, “Dr. Katherine Franks and Farouk Chanda invite you to join them as they celebrate their wedding, together with their children Hamsa, Claire and Taryn.”
Registering and wedding gifts
Gifts are now much more common for a second wedding. You can register just as you did for your first wedding.
The place you choose for your wedding and reception will absolutely set the tone for the day. Jacquie’s Gourmet Catering recommends choosing a place that has meaning for you both. Maybe in the park where you had your first kiss; or a barn because one of you grew up in the country; or your family church; or outdoors to encourage young children to relax and have fun after the ceremony.
As you might imagine, we have lots of ideas and would be most happy to help in your decision with our years of catering in literally hundreds of different venues. We can give you the scoop on everything from parking avails to best places for live bands – to guest capacity and how easy it is to work with management.
What to serve
We definitely know what we’re doing on this front! Working together, we can pull together the ideal menu for your group, large or small. We have great suggestions on what’s trending, what foods work well together, how to stretch your food budget, and how to set up everything up to look fantastic and keep people happy and fed. Especially those with special food requirements.
You might decide to have an open bar or simplify things a bit with providing a popular selection of beer and wine. Signature cocktails are also a lot of fun – from naming them – to what goes into them. We have plenty of ideas on this front, too.
So if you are starting to think about a your second wedding and/or reception, give us a call to start the dialog. We are happy to help!